/biz/ - Business & Finance

SOXL chads
we storm the SOXS tranny castle during FOMC meeting presser
prepare yourselves, JPow will give the signal
https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1679338461261551.webm

>>52992161

WHOA BLACK BETTY

WHOA BLACK BETTY

WHOA BLACK BETTY

BAM-BA-LAM

>>52679347
The meeting of the Fed presidents is underway and Jerome shifts uncomfortably trying not to let any emotion show as Lael is droning on about Modern Monetary Theory and how they need to print more. It's made exponentially more diffcult since he's naked from the waist down and the market is quietly deep throating him, the occasional "hukk hukk" sound faintly audible on the video conference. The other Fed Presidents slowly realize what is going on and as it dawns on them they express surprise then approval at Jerome's clear dominance over this troublesome market. Jerome casually interrupts Lael when she eventually mentions black unemployment, "Look Lael, we all appreciate your input on this but the minorities are at the highest employment ever. It's clear we need to continue with rate-". He grabs the markets head and slams her down to the balls. *cough* "Excuse me, rate hikes. That is what we promised the American people and we are damn well going to deliver, the market will be stronger". Jerome starts ejaculating down the market's throat as she instinctively swallows each load. "after we are done. That is the only path toward recovery and another bull market. We've made sacrifices for the covid hysteria and now it's time to unwind them." The majority of the other Fed presidents nod showing their approval not only for his strong monetary policy but also for maintaining his cool during business discussions while being not so secretly serviced. The video call winks out and Jerome finished, pulls his massive member out of the market. He gives her a hard slap, a bright red hand print appearing on her cheek within seconds and tells her to go put the largest plug she can find in her ass. Training the market has been tedious but well worth the effort.

Welcome to Coomer's Anonymous. Jerome you are first.
>Hi everyone, my name is Jerome and I love to coom.
(Everyone): Hi Jerome.
>Cooming is more than just an addiction to me, it's my job. I have to coom in the market or inflation won't be transistory. I have to coom in bonds yields or the US will default on it's debt. Who's going to coom in bonds? Yellen? Warren? No, it is my patriotic duty to coom in all your investment vehicles. It's what makes uranium futures for physical delivery glow green. You need my coom. I can't stop for the good of the American people.
Jerome, you don't seem to understand, this is a recovery grou-
>No YOU don't understand. WHO IS GOING TO COOM IN THE S&P500? Trump? No his dick is tiny like a childs and Biden only fingerbangs kids these days and that's when he remembers the current year.
Bu-
>I know I know, it's not good for me to be cooming in every derivative and I think I got a STD from the gangbang with bitcoin and those defi sluts. Agh, those are some dirty birds. Cooming in the shorts makes me feel the best, they never last long and if they get margin called while you are inside they tighten up like a fucking vice. You want a bull market you got to coom bull amounts. I inject pure testosterone directly into my dick. I've had erections that last days if not weeks. I do it for the little frog guys that can't get a gf to coom in much less coom in TSLA. If not me then who?
You seem to have some self-sacrifice issues with this, what about the other Fed Presidents? You don't have to carry all this cooming weight. How long does your heart have left?
>Fuck. You are right. I'll be lucky if I make it to 2023 when I promised interest rate increases. I'm not stopping though, I will coom this market around one way or another, so help me God.
Hmm, okay clearly we have some work to do. Who do we have next... Mr. Bobo? This can't be right.

>>51429875
Jerome is going to slowly inch the interest rate cock into place. First he will prep the market by talking about it or having the other Fed heads mention it in interviews. His growing erection straining to be released from his pleated pants. The market will whimper a little and start to produce lubrication, maybe say to stop and try to push him away. At that point it's too late to resist, there's no running away from Jerome's bedroom. With lust in his eyes, nothing will deter Jerome from his task. He has come to put our financial woes to rest. To do that he'll have to take the market to a place it's never been before, a place of pain but also pleasure. He will open the market up with a small interest rate hike, just a teaser to the full event. Rub it around the outside and push gently at the entrance. There will be a yelp of pain and maybe a moan or kick. Soon the whole tip, a 0.5% hike thrust into the market prodding and stretching the first few inches. Probing deeper until there's a slight resistance of the market's hymen giving way. This is where the majority of the pain occurs, a little blood but Jerome can't stop now, he must finish this task. Pushing farther in each time, he finally feels himself bottom out the market with an eye rolling groan. Quickly, thrust after thrust will go fully in and out with load smacks as pelvis collides with pelvis, no whimpers or pleading will stop him. It will seem to the market like this period lasts forever, both parties will start to perspire and become desperate, panting and gasping for breath. Relief can only happen if the act is fully completed. Finally Jerome will explode deep into those depths with a loud final bestial grunt. The market will scream as stars dance across it's vision in simultaneous agony and ecstasy then promptly pass out, drooling and still twitching from aftershocks. Jerome will delve the market's nethers so thoroughly that it will feel empty after the final interest rate hike.

Jerome is going to slowly inch the interest rate cock into place. First he will prep the market by talking about it or having the other Fed heads mention it in interviews. His growing erection straining to be released from his pleated pants. The market will whimper a little and start to produce lubrication, maybe say to stop and try to push him away. At that point it's too late to resist, there's no running away from Jerome's bedroom. With lust in his eyes, nothing will deter Jerome from his task. He has come to put our financial woes to rest. To do that he'll have to take the market to a place it's never been before, a place of pain but also pleasure. He will open the market up with a small interest rate hike, just a teaser to the full event. Rub it around the outside and push gently at the entrance. There will be a yelp of pain and maybe a moan or kick. Soon the whole tip, a 0.5% hike thrust into the market prodding and stretching the first few inches. Probing deeper until there's a slight resistance of the market's hymen giving way. This is where the majority of the pain occurs, a little blood but Jerome can't stop now, he must finish this task. Pushing farther in each time, he finally feels himself bottom out the market with an eye rolling groan. Quickly, thrust after thrust will go fully in and out with load smacks as pelvis collides with pelvis, no whimpers or pleading will stop him. It will seem to the market like this period lasts forever, both parties will start to perspire and become desperate, panting and gasping for breath. Relief can only happen if the act is fully completed. Finally Jerome will explode deep into those depths with a loud final bestial grunt. The market will scream as stars dance across it's vision in simultaneous agony and ecstasy then promptly pass out, drooling and still twitching from aftershocks. Jerome will delve the market's nethers so thoroughly that it will feel empty after the final interest rate hike.

THE RATE HIKES WILL CONTINUE UNTIL MORALE IMPROVES

POWELL IS A FUCKING WHITE SUPREMACISTS LOOK AT THE HAND SIGNAL REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>50958289
Can't wait to hear Powell grovel about minorities again at the next meeting

Powell is giving the sign if you know, you know.

>Brokers
https://pastebin.com/F1yujtVq

>Stock market words:
https://pastebin.com/VtnpN5iJ

>Risk management:
https://pastebin.com/sqJUcbjp

>Live Streams:
http://www.livenewson.com/american/bloomberg-television-business.html
https://watchnewslive.tv/watch-cnbc-live-stream-free-24-7/

>Educational sites:
https://www.investopedia.com/
https://www.khanacademy.org/economics-finance-domain
https://www.thebalance.com/

>Free charts:
https://www.tradingview.com
https://www.finscreener.com/
https://www.koyfin.com/

>Screeners:
https://finviz.com/
https://www.tradingview.com/screener
https://etfdb.com/

>Pre-Market Data and Live data:
https://www.investing.com/indices/indices-futures
https://finance.yahoo.com/

>Bio-pharma Catalyst Calendar:
https://biopharmcatalyst.com

>Boomer Investing 101:
https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Getting_started

>Dividend Reinvestment (DRIP) calculator:
https://www.dividendchannel.com/drip-returns-calculator/

>List of hedge fund holdings:
https://fintel.io/

>Misc:
https://squeezemetrics.com/monitor
https://market24hclock.com/
https://tradingeconomics.com
https://wallmine.com/
https://tikr.com/

Last,
>>50589709

>>50429032
is Powell giving the super secret illuminati sign to start the dumping?

>>49925878
He's giving me the secret hand signal that lets me know what is really happening

Happy Jewnteenth!

>Brokers
https://pastebin.com/F1yujtVq
https://brokerchooser.com/

>Stock market words:
https://pastebin.com/VtnpN5iJ

>Risk management:
https://pastebin.com/sqJUcbjp

>Financials podcasts/channels
https://www.youtube.com/c/CameronStewartCFA - Fundamendals analysis
https://www.youtube.com/user/BenzingaTV - Various themed livestreams
https://www.youtube.com/user/KitcoNews - Mainly PMs and crypto

>Live Streams:
http://www.livenewson.com/american/bloomberg-television-business.html
https://watchnewslive.tv/watch-cnbc-live-stream-free-24-7/

>Educational sites:
https://www.investopedia.com/
https://www.khanacademy.org/economics-finance-domain
https://www.thebalance.com/

>Free charts:
https://www.tradingview.com
https://www.finscreener.com/
https://www.koyfin.com/

>Screeners:
https://finviz.com/
https://www.tradingview.com/screener
https://etfdb.com/

>Pre-Market Data and Live data:
https://www.investing.com/indices/indices-futures
https://finance.yahoo.com/

>Bio-pharma Catalyst Calendar:
https://biopharmcatalyst.com

>Boomer Investing 101:
https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Getting_started

>Dividend Reinvestment (DRIP) calculator:
https://www.dividendchannel.com/drip-returns-calculator/

>List of hedge fund holdings:
https://fintel.io/

>Misc:
https://squeezemetrics.com/monitor
https://market24hclock.com/
https://tradingeconomics.com
https://wallmine.com/
https://tikr.com/

>>49746210

APOLOGIZE?

Powell, no, don't do it bro

>Risk management:
https://pastebin.com/sqJUcbjp

>Educational sites:
https://www.investopedia.com/
https://www.khanacademy.org/economics-finance-domain

>Live Bloomberg stream:
https://www.livenewsnow.com/american/bloomberg-television-business.html

>Brokers:
https://pastebin.com/F1yujtVq

>Stock market dictonary:
https://pastebin.com/VtnpN5iJ

>Pre-Market Data and Live data:
https://www.tradingview.com
https://www.finscreener.com/
https://www.investing.com/indices/indices-futures

>Screeners:
https://finviz.com/
https://www.tradingview.com/screener
https://etfdb.com/
https://finance.yahoo.com/

>Boomer Investing 101:
https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Getting_started

>Misc:
https://market24hclock.com/
https://tradingeconomics.com

>>49674773