/biz/ - Business & Finance

>The CEOs of PinDuoDuo, Jingdong, and Alibaba are hauled before a court on charges of financial crimes.
>This being China, they're all guilty.
>And, this being China, when the court finds them guilty the judge sentences them to bizarre punishments.
>"First," the judge says to the PinDuoDuo CEO, "your crimes were not so bad. For failing to report Temu earnings properly, I sentence you to wearing cheap rags from Temu for the rest of your life."
>"Your crimes" he says to the Jingdong CEO, "were worse. For overstating ad revenue by 30%, you will pay 30% more tax on every dollar you earn. Let that be a lesson for you."
>Lastly he turns to the Alibaba CEO and says, "Your crimes, however, were the worst of all. For planning a fraudulent multibillion dollar IPO, laundering fortunes for the enemies of China, and leading a treasonous conspiracy against President Xi himself, I sentence you to keeping all your money in Alibaba stock."

>The CEOs of PinDuoDuo, Jingdong, and Alibaba are hauled before a court on charges of financial crimes.
>This being China, they're all guilty.
>And, this being China, when the court finds them guilty the judge sentences them to bizarre sentences.
>"First," the judge says to the PinDuoDuo CEO, "your crimes were not so bad. For failing to report Temu earnings properly, I sentence you to only wearing cheap rags from Temu for the rest of your life"
>"Your crimes" he says to the Jingdong CEO, "were worse. For overstating ad revenue by 30%, you will pay 30% more tax on every dollar you earn. Let that be a lesson for you."
>Lastly he turns to the Alibaba CEO and says, "Your crimes, however, were the worst of all. For planning a fraudulent multibillion dollar IPO, laundering fortunes for the enemies of China, and leading a treasonous conspiracy against President Xi himself, I sentence you to keep all your money in Alibaba stock."