/biz/ - Business & Finance

No joke, since making this thread I have received THREE separate rejections and they all highlight how hopeless this all is.
>apply for something in my major that I have previous internship experience in
>rejected
>apply for something adjacent to my major with a lot of crossover
>rejected
>apply for something not really related to my major but requiring a lot of similar skills
>rejected

They also highlight the gems of
>apply within five days of job posting
>keep getting rejections that say they didn't even look at my resume because I applied too late
>start applying to jobs within 24 hours of them getting posted
>now they look at my resume and then decide to reject me

I have now twice been blocked from losing my virginity because I just can't get hard. I'm still getting big, but and I'm getting semi-hard, but I'm not able to penetrate unless I'm rock solid because my dick will just bend out of the way instead of going in. I've never had issues getting hard before. Even after getting my dick sucked I'll be crazy hard but by the time I put the condom on I've lost it. It deflates almost instantly.

I have some theories but I have no idea if any of them are true or how to solve any of these
>I fap to mostly hentai, have I somehow lost attraction to 3D? (I do occasionally fap to 3D without issue but it's a small minority of the time)
>First time didn't fap for like two weeks before we met up, maybe I had "deactivated" my sex drive since I had to actively suppress it to not jerk off?
>Second time fapped almost every day before we met up, maybe I had burned myself out?
>Both times I didn't feel very good unrelatedly, maybe that was it? It's hard to get hard if your stomach hurts
>Both times I hadn't showered or changed the sheets for most of the week so I felt gross most of the week, but I finally showered before meeting up, maybe I just didn't want to feel gross again after feeling gross for so long?

I'm also worried it could be psychological, which I hope to god it's not because I don't see how I fix this short of therapy.
>Maybe I'm just nervous?
>I've had low self-esteem for almost all of my life, and I used to not be able to fap to porn if the woman was too attractive because I couldn't self insert since there's no way I'd ever be able to bang a girl that hot. Maybe being with someone so attractive is triggering this?
>I've compartmentalized my sex life and my personal life since puberty making sure to never ever come across sexual or even get boners while interacting with others while in public, maybe this is causing issues?

Any thoughts on what it could be? Any advice on how to fix this? I'm in America so no Viagra.