Why do lazy zoomers today refuse to go out and get good jobs? It’s easy, son.
All you have to do is type up a resume, submit it online, pull up the job application, enter information from the submitted resume into data fields, take an online psychological profiling test, wait a month, get a call from the HR rep, schedule a phone interview, get a call two weeks later, set up a Skype interview with the HR rep and hiring manager, get a call two weeks later, set up a physical interview, go to the physical interview two weeks later, interview with the HR rep and hiring manager, set up a full-round interview, go to the full-round interview two weeks later, interview with the HR rep, hiring manager, potential fellow co-workers, get an offer letter, set up a drug test, criminal background search, credit history search, go to the drug testing two weeks later, set up a meeting with the department head, go to the meeting two weeks later, walk up, look him in the eye, and give him a firm handshake. Then he’ll smile and welcome you aboard to your first unpaid internship.
That’s how we did it in my day.