/biz/ - Business & Finance

I've spent the entire day wanting to kill myself. My roommates all fucked off to hang out with people and I'm left alone again, infinitely reminded that every friendship I've ever made has resulted in a topical and temporary relief from loneliness, where I'm dropped as soon as interaction becomes inconvenient.
I made and lost 500k, back to 0. Lost my only chance to escape wageslavery
I m nearing the bottom of the bottle and I'm still crisp and clear, and struggling to find any reason not to end it.

I'm unloved, undeserving of love, and I spend each progressive year more alone and full of self hatred than before.

I don't know how to fix myself.
Every swing into the dark just grows worse and worse. I'm scared that I wont he able to cope much longer.