/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>18631457
Let's talk about the real inflation crisis: Campbell's soup prices in Canada.

Jesus fuck I can't believe they'd send out as much soup as you'd buy with a year of wages.

Makes me want to take the flat of soup over to Warwick Davis's house and make a peace offering. I'd apologize for saying I want to kick him. As we crack open the luxurious and not at all fermented cat piss soup and quaff it like a couple of cold ones, we'd both get very relaxed. I would continue to apologize despite his insistence that all was forgiven.

Eventually, drunk on the heady brew of Campbell's, I would say I could prove that kicking him would've been futile. I'd tee up the remaining 30 cans as a demonstration, pointing out they weigh as much as him, then punt the ever loving dog rape out of the flat.

Warwick would run in circles shrieking as cans rained down, trying desperately to dodge them, like Gimli dodging boulders on the mountain pass landslide in lord of the rings. Sadly his stumpy legs can't outpace gravity and his swollen head is caught in the chunky rain, dented by a can as big as itself.

Being worried about crushing the little guy in my massive bear paws, I'd get his house cat to delicately carry him inside by the scruff of his neck. Gingerly setting him down on a pillow, I'd tend to his wounds with a salve made from strained soup and pearl onions to prevent infection. After splinting his broken arm with a bit of undercooked celery, I'd grind down the sharp edges on the can and fashion him a new house with bits of toothpick furniture. Then I'd throw it in the trash compactor; fuck that cunt and Campbell's too.