/biz/ - Business & Finance

>DUDE JUST GET AN OFFICE JOB LMAO. DUDE JUST GO TO COLLEGE FOR 4 YEARS AND STUDY SOMETHING IT DOESN'T MATTER DUDE RACK UP $100K IN LOANS AND GET A PIECE OF PAPER. DUDE JUST APPLY TO 80 JOBS A DAY IN LINKEDIN AND NETWORK AND MAKE CONNECTIONS AND TALK TO YOUR SCHOOL'S CAREER OFFICE. DUDE JUST MANUALLY TYPE IN THE SAME INFORMATION YOU HAVE ON YOUR RESUME INTO THE HUMAN RESOURCES APPLICATION PORTAL OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND DUDE AFTER APPLYING TO 750 JOBS JUST TALK TO 250 DIFFERENT RETARDED HR WOMEN ON A PHONE SCREEN AND DO 100 DIFFERENT FIRST ROUND VIDEO INTERVIEWS AND 50 DIFFERENT SECOND ROUND VIDEO INTERVIEWS AND 25 DIFFERENT THIRD ROUND INTERVIEWS AND DUDE GET GHOSTED BY 24 OF THOSE BEFORE THIRD ROUND INTERVIEWS YOU GET 1 OFFER. DUDE YOU DID IT CONGRATULATIONS LMAO!!!!!! DUDE JUST SHOW UP TO THE JOB WITH A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND WEAR BUSINESS CASUAL AND SIT IN A FLUORESCENT LIT, OPEN OFFICE WAGECATTLE KILLFLOOR FOR 10 HOURS A DAY ON SALARY BECAUSE WE HAVE DEADLINES TO MEET AND WE'RE SHORTSTAFFED BUT WE HAVE TO MAKE DUE WITH WHAT WE HAVE AND MANAGEMENT PROMISED THEY'D REASSESS THE MANPOW -- SORRY, I MEAN STAFFING BUDGET NEXT FISCAL YEAR. DUDE JUST BE A TEAM AND PLAYER AND SPEAK UP DURING MEETINGS AND DRIVE PROCESS IMPROVEMENTS AND USE BUZZWORDS UNIRONICALLY, LIKE DUDE YOU REALLY NEED TO SEE THE 30,000 FOOT VIEW BUT DON'T BOIL THE OCEAN IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. DUDE DON'T FORGET TO SIGN YOUR BOSS'S BIRTHDAY CARD AND DUDE THAT GIRL FROM ACCOUNTS PAYABLE THAT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IS HAVING A BABY AND WE'RE ALL CHIPPING IN TO BUY HER A BABY SHOWER GIFT DUDE I'LL SEND YOU THE VENMO INFO LATER THE SUGGESTED DONATION IS $50. DUDE I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU HAVE TO DONATE BUT NOT CHIPPING IN WOULD BE A BAD LOOK SINCE YOU'RE NEW AND ALL. BY THE WAY WE NEED YOU TO COME IN EARLY TOMORROW THERE'S AN HOUR LONG 8:00 AM ALL HANDS MEETING AND BTW DON'T FORGET TO DO YOUR QUARTERLY COMPLIANCE TRAININGS, THEY'RE DUE TOMORROW BY 9:00 AM SHARP. DUDE JUST GET AN OFFICE JOB LMAO.