/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>49814683
>live in the UK
>between the ages of 22 and 35
>literally the only thing you have to look forward to is taking out a Help to Buy 5% mortgage with the extra chunk the taxpayer slings in from your Help to Buy ISA to buy a paper thin walled new build piece of shit slapped together by a bunch of drunk Polaks
>pair this up with a cheeky PCP deal on an entry level petrol BMW / Audi and a Fiat 500 for your skank call centre team leader girlfriend to park in your tiny unfenced front garden which is 90% driveway cause your garage is too narrow to even fit a car in
>all the houses on your estate are listed as detached but only have half a foot gap between each other
>neighbours are all low level wageslaves who have the fact they all have negative net worths and are massively over leveraged with debt in common
>this is of course except the Affordable Homes section of the estate which is filled with ex-cons, and dole dodgers that leech from the state

>>30397184
She was a hot piece of ass in her teenage days but unfortunately ears of tanning, butt injections and lip surgery turned her into a bog.

>>30194262
>>30194450
Sometimes I just wish I was born a half wit or better yet, a lack wit

>>30112658
What a fuckin' legend. Hope my 10k Linkerinos will elp me do the same.

>>29745610
>pull on my Clarks Beeswax desert boots, black rip-knee slim jeans, my white oxford shirt and cap it off with my green bomber jacket (size medium) from ASOS
>make sure X-Factor semis are set to record on the Sky+HD box before heading out
>lock the door of my 2-bed Barratt New Build behind me
>hop in the Audi A3 2L TDI purchased on a finance agreement
>the missus gets in the passenger seat
>set off on our second trip to IKEA in 2 weeks
>have a wander round the aisles
>debate with the missus whether or not the MALM set of drawers we have in the lounge is too obviously from IKEA and if we should be shopping at somewhere like Oak Furniture Land these days instead now we can afford it after her promotion to Assistant Staff Call Co-ordinator at the call centre
>buy a new desk lamp and potted cactus near the end to have something to make the trip worth while
>grab a bag of mini Daims as well for when we're watching X-factor later
>drop the missus off home
>boost into town, pushing 40 in the freshly paved streets of my exclusive barrat estate because I know there's no cameras
>head over to Smithy's barbershop
>get my usual mates-rates weekly skin-tight-to-number-2 fade undercut from Smithster himself
>meet up with Callum and Deano in spoons and sink a few jars over the footie
>head to the toilet and take a snap of my new haircut with my dick out and send it to the 19-year-old I've been texting for the last 3 days
>head home in the car
>stop in at Raj Mahal's Curry House en route
>pick up a Jalfrezzi and a Korma with rice, poppadoms, tub of extra sauce, veggie pakora and a special nan
>get home, sit down with the missus to watch the X-Factor with the feet up
>wait for the missus to go to bed
>crank one out to some extremely overproduced Brazzers porn downloaded on my outdated BitTorrent client, addled with malware
>check my phone; 19-year-old has text me back a picture of her chebs
>forward it to Davo
>head upstairs
>slip in beside the missus in our comfy IKEA bed

Is starting a bookies profitable? How do we take these NPCs to the cleaners?

>>29371062