/biz/ - Business & Finance

>>23895820
People new to /biz/:

Before you buy your first Stinky Linky, let me tell you a story.
I was in San Francisco one day to see one of my buddies. We were tired of looking at cunny on his laptop so we decided to go to a local strip club.
There we saw, lo and behold, fucking Sergey in the middle of the club, with strippers on him, turning his signature shirt from white and blue to brown and blue. He was just lobbing huge stacks of cash at the strippers; the bills stuck together with rubber bands, practically pelting the dancers with bricks of cash straight from the bank.
Of course, I had to go up and congratulate him on the success of LINK (this was before the massive dump). He took a hefty swig from his bottle of Dom Perignon and said, "You think I really care, Stinky Linky?"
My hands started sweating, and my knees felt weak for some reason. As I wiped sweat off my brow, I stuttered, "W-What?"
He glared at me, but strayed from my eyes. I realized he was drunk.
"Fundamentally, I don't give two fucks about Chainlink, kid. In fact--"
A 400+ pound stripper tapped him on the shoulder. From under his plaid shirt, he slowly pulled out the largest bag of cocaine I had ever seen. It looked like one of those gallon bags, and it was filled to the brim. The stripper took it and pranced off into a unlit room toward the back of the club.
Sergey then pulled out a lighter. Then he turned to me--the scent of alcohol hitting my nostrils hard.
"You wanna know what I think about Chainlink?"
He then pulled about 20 stacks of bills from a duffel bag, threw them on the floor, poured cognac all over them. He flicked his Zippo, and dropped the flame into the pile. The entire stack burst into flames.
I stared at him, speechless.
"It's called a 'PUMP and DUMP,' kid."
He laughed as he watched the money burn and my naivety with it, before he lost interest and left with his entourage of strippers to the coke room.
This is the man you are supporting by buying LINK...