One day about two or three years ago
We is browsin' /biz/
Kickin' kikes, and swattin' pajeets,
And discussin' the shitcoin of the month
When right out in front of the /SMG/
Come a big ol' Blue school bus
Had astrological signs upon it
And thirty-five linkies and Nico's inside
About half of 'em went for the courthouse lawn
And them Nico's commenced on the fireplug
Rest of 'em set there starin' at us
And I says, "Craig, go get your Flit gun"
He says, "Which is the Linkies? And which is the Nico's?"
I says, "Beats the hell outta me, Craig."
What they was, was a bunch a' them Stinky Linkers
And their leader was a Russian scammer
He says, "Bogdanoff, we has arrived.
"Prepare to disembark, marines.
"Get the memes goin' and the fud out
"We gonna camp on the /biz/ board, marines."
I says, "Boys, let me explain the situation to ya.
"A: you're gettin' me down
"And B: we got us a anime law here
"And C: you on the wrong board.
"You drop one string a' links in that there board
"And you gonna see a whole lotta stars.
"You got fifteen seconds to get out of town, linkers,
"Or we gonna blow ya ta reddit."
Well, they all got back in the blue bus
And proceeded to the board limits.
Then the telephone rang, was the Shittin' street
Says a mess a' wild Linkers was in it!
So we all got in the Craig's Plymouth
(Which is always at the bitmex station)
Went flashin' on down to the shittin' street
To give them Linkers a citation
By the time we arrived, it was too damn late
Them Linkers is all had their pants down
Them Nico's was stompin' the Linkers balls,
And they's after the goldies on the /pmg/ pond!
I says, "Craig, you get the one in the Anime T-shirt
"And I'll get the rest with a net.
"We gonna have a jail full a' naked Stinky Linkers
"And a drip-dry Russian scammer."
Well, we gave 'em hell, but we lost the war
'Cause them Linkers