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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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10711139 No.10711139 [Reply] [Original]

You stand on a mound made of bodies of orcs that you have slain, clutching your war-axe. You are surrounded by trolls and Balrogs. You know that you must hold out so that the Elvish armies that you and your forces are protecting can retreat in safety and salvage what remains of this disastrous defeat. You are Hurin, son of Galdor.

What do you do?

>> No.10711146

Open a TP and bail.

>> No.10711147

Realise I posted in /jp/ and not /tg/ as I intended.

>> No.10711157

Rape the maids

>> No.10711159

genuflect and rape the maids

>> No.10711160

>>10711157
None of the trolls or balrogs are maids.

>> No.10711164

Jump in the lake.

>> No.10711170

Who gives a shit about the elvish armies? I'm a badass guy with a huge war axe, I can survive without them. No need to bother fighting these orcs.

[x] Go somewhere else and take it easy.

>> No.10711176

Proceed to break down.

I mean dancing, obviously. Confuse them with dancing. Possibly by doing the Monkey.

Or you know, continue killing them all. If you made a hill of corpses, it's probably pretty easy to make another five or ten or hundred.

>> No.10711174

>>10711170
Oh, my bad, trolls and balrogs. Still, no need to fight them.

>> No.10711187 [DELETED] 

:Look

>> No.10711233

I wanna be Turin son of Hurin instead.

>> No.10711238
File: 419 KB, 800x1132, 32260687.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10711238

>>10711233
You have just found the most beautiful creature in the world dancing in a woodland glen. She falls in love with you and you fall in love with her, but you are a man and she is an elf. To make matters worse, she is the daughter of Thingol, Lord of Doriath and one of the great lords of the Elves in Beleriand. Thingol says he will give you his daughters hand in marriage, but only if you achieve an impossible task and steal a Silmaril from the crown of Morgoth himself. You are Beren, son of Barahir.

>> No.10711247

Roleplaying is not allowed.

>> No.10711256

>Son

Stop reading there.

>> No.10711292

Wait for you to kill yourself.

>> No.10711321
File: 143 KB, 261x432, 1352019335685.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10711321

>>10711238
run away with my bride because FUFCK mariage

if she real love me she dont even care

>> No.10711373

>>10711238
Let's go steal it, dude.

Assemble a party.

>> No.10711387

>>10711373
The woman you love, Luthien, wishes to join you on your quest. The two of you prepare to set off.

>> No.10711399

>>10711387
>>10711387
Ok now fuck luthien for a morale bonis before I go

Make it very hot and nasty

>> No.10711414

>>10711399
Luthien is a pure girl and she's not going to have sex with you until you're married. And you can't get married until you complete her father's impossible task.

Now get going, you've got to steal one of the most sacred objects in the world from right atop the head of Satan.

>> No.10711419

>>10711414
I put on my robe and my wizard hat.

>> No.10711422

>>10711419
Actually Luthien's the sorcerer in your party, but it's good to show initiative.

>> No.10711425

>>10711422
Wizards and sorcerers are not the same thing.

>> No.10711429

>>10711425
You're right, wizards are Maiar who have been locked into the shape of wizened old men, and sorcerers are people who can use magic. And you're not either.

>> No.10711437

>>10711414
What a cop out. I have a solution though:

I begin to rape Luthien and stick my inferior 12 inch human meat proboscis into her pure white elven glands. I savagely thrust inward and out while grunting about giving Luthien halflings.

>> No.10711452

>>10711437
Well too bad for you, Elves can die of broken hearts.

The emotional trauma of rape was too much for Luthien and it killed her.

That's canonically what would happen too, Tolkien said so.

>> No.10711465

>>10711452
That's ridiculous. Does she love you or not? If she does, why does she care about pretenses like "marriage" anyway?

This is disgusting. I'm fucking out of here.

>> No.10711480

>>10711465
If you loved her at all wouldn't you want to consecrate your monogamous commitment to her?

Also if you loved her why would you rape her.

>> No.10711487

>>10711480
Probably not if it involves stealing Satan's headdress.

>> No.10711492
File: 131 KB, 780x567, The Iron Crown.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
10711492

>>10711487
Luthien's half demi-god, you'd honestly have a decent chance with her on your side.

>> No.10711955

>>10711492
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8LtASFIR2E

>> No.10711958

I shall return to /tg/

nerd, owned

>> No.10711966

>>10711238
Only if Morgoth looks like this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ksk7wPX-MI4

>>
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